You might not know here, but lately I have been dropping out the "sad" from my handles in different media and as soon as the site renews the "sad" is dropping out from here as well. It's funny story why is it like that but that is something I have decided upon and I am not going back on my words.
Well, it's not just the word , I have decided and finally properly made up my up mind to not be the way I have been anymore; a lot of work has gone into it so don't try to get me stop it! xD I know you wouldn't but there is no harm in pretending that what I am writing is talking to me!
I have read my old posts and poems and I can clearly see the twisted and confused mind that wrote those, often misjudging and misleading sad mind, it's still the same person but the mind is much better and clear now. The thoughts have settled in and I am somehow finally in a place where that clarity that I obtained is back.
Funny story, ikr, I was often confused about what I was feeling: sad, sorry, guilty, angry? who knows because often when I was calm I seemed frustrated and angered; well confused mind and confused emotions, can you really blame me? Technically, YES you can!
If you have read those chapters (more might come) you would know that after the experience of a range of different kind of emotions, I simply stopped and made myself stop feeling certain emotions and when I resumed them I was often confused!
After like a year of feeling things differently, and recently feeling that "one" feeling restored my mind; even if that "one" feeling wasn't particularly a happy or pleasant it just restored my mind's or brain's chemistry and I started to see things clearly. Funny but true, to someone just reading the post this might sound something weird but true it is!
You see, in life we are mostly centering ourselves but often don't really understand ourselves and with a hope that someone else might we just hop into their lives. We forget: we cannot really understand someone unless we understand ourselves first, let alone keep them happy. We become those "happy suckers": Finding happiness through others by depleting their happiness and that's really cruel. So, one must first learn to be happy within and only then one can direct and spread happiness!
Hahah, yah, it's kind of a different post without a vibe of repressed feelings but completely random things that I wanted to type out. I am glad for every little thing that ever happened, and every person that I ever had the chance to meet. I can now see the spectrum of my preset old self properly before the things that I took burden upon. It's composed of all the colors and this idiot has been looking at the ones with darker shades. Be happy people, there's something beautiful everyday and just as how the blessed one said: "Within is what reflects the exterior" Be happy, be fine and most importantly understand yourself because as a human being we have choices and what we feel is not a consequence but often a choice of own thoughts.
Stay Blessed. 😊😊
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