"Not everyday is a good day,
Live anyway. Not everyone will be good to you,
Be good, anyway."
Yah, I began this post in a different way, perhaps because everything has been different since the last few months. The year 2020 is about to end and along with it the decade is coming to an end too.
This decade showed me a lot of things, with different experiences and lessons on the way. 10 years have passed by, and along with it I grew up. With experiences that being a child I could hardly comprehend made sense to me during these years and with incidents that some people never face I had a face-to-face with. And at the end of this decade, during the the last few months of this year everything made sense to me. It's time to let go of certain things, to be honest, everything that I carried this decade: a turn them something fruitful for myself.
Certain definitions changed and I changed along with it, it wasn't voluntary but life guides you towards something and I caught with it, maybe I am late, or maybe I caught up with it in perfect time, but whatever happened or yet to happen I am happy for all of it, because I have truly and finally accepted every bit of my deeds: my guilt, my wrongs, my mistakes, my behaviors, my goodness, and whatever damn thing I denied about myself.
I am surprised though, I have always thought that I am not a bad guy or you can say a non-toxic guy, but this decade made me realize the amount of toxicity I have in myself. It was the worst kind and I realized the truth of it when I met different people of same kind in this decade who just showed me the path to redemption; knowing or unknowingly.
There's no purpose to life, the phenomenon of Life is Beauty in itself. Sometimes I run my memories and behaviors in loop just to reflect on myself and 2020 being the quarantined year gave me the opportunity to work on myself rather than working on skills or "work", the world suffered losses, the nature replenished a bit and it gave us all a chance to reflect. I made use of it and I learnt the truth about myself, no matter how little. I thank the world and people in it for making it possible, not just for me but for anyone who decided to do the same.
The more important thing that came into realization is that Death is for all. We may try to postpone it but it is the only fixed point in all of our lives. So, live the damn way you want to live without creating misery for yourself or anyone. My friends, do not suffer your own intelligence and thoughts, live joyfully as long as you can because no matter what one day you shall leave this body and won't be able to take anything with yourself, so live joyfully and do not fear for the future. Life shall Guide you, once you let it, joyfully. And yes, do not fear suffering.
There are lots of things to say, lots to learn yet, I am simply thankful and happy for being in turning point of my life where I can now simply understand myself and understand how happiness is within and a creation of self. Spread it, and world shall heal.
Take care, family. Stay Happy, Be Joyful.
Let Life Guide You.
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