Some say living in memories is the work of the poor, but have you tried it? I do. I often do. Yes, I know; one shouldn't look back on things of the past, often when the past brings no good but one can live the happy moments, learn from the mistakes and revisit the days to get the clear sight of the present days.
I am fond of revisiting things, and unlike most people I love both the good as well as the moments that I dire miss. Today, I was scrolling through some of the old pictures of 2015, in my memory these all seems like yesterday. I saw my brother, when he was younger than he is now and I kind of miss him like that. I mean I love my brother now too, it's just that after 2015 I got so entangled with my own things and mind that I never paid the required attention, nor played with him that well. I question myself: Why have I been so selfish for so long that I overlooked certain things. Well, that's the way I was and since the end of the last decade everything did clear up. I cannot rectify the past, nor correct my mistakes that I did to myself, or my brother or anyone who has ever been close to me, but I did learn from them all. Some are obvious changes and some are subtle, but I understand that life is for living and not to throw away in the pursuit of things or mental satisfaction, because that mental satisfaction or happiness has always been with me; and it is mine for myself. I often wish that I realized this before and spend some more time playing with my younger brother, be a better friend, and understand humanity a bit more but I missed those chances and time shall never rewind for me, ESPECIALLY for me.
But now, even if I learned these smallest things that had a huge impact, I don't know how to rectify them in the present. I try and I am trying daily to be the way I wished could be and enlighten those I see who are in the same state I was in, I don't know how much small actions shall count to but I hope those who haven't realized realize it quick because TIME never waits. One day turns into a Decade and then someday you realize what COULD have been. I wish to embrace my brother and tell my parents things that I never told them. I wish to walk with my best friend in arms and explore the world. I wish to sit in a corner and realize my self, enlighten the world of others for the same (I know it's not my duty but when I see people in need of the support, I wish to help them). Only if I realized before that happiness is simply within and my mental drama was of my own doing and reasoning. Yes, I can still embrace my brother and talk to my parents, but it won't be the same as it COULD have been. I can no longer be with my bestfriend but I can see her within me always and explore this beautiful and wonderful world.
Yes, I am not that old to lecture anyone but I have realized certain things that you might have not. I want you to understand because it is necessary, it is important to do the right things in time. When the clock ticks it's not the minutes or seconds passing , it is actually your LIFE which is passing away. Understand yourself sooner, and be the person you want to be and REMEMBER you are HAPPY because your happiness is within you, and that MENTAL Drama too is of your own, you can either stay sad and live the life dreadfully and then one day realize what you have done and regret OR you can just learn that happiness is within, feel it one day at a time and hopefully everything will make sense and you shall live this wonderful and beautiful life.
My Friend, YOU ARE WONDERFUL AND LUCKY TO BE ALIVE :)
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