Is it sad to remember someone from the past, who had a deep impact in your life? Even if the times have changed now and the person no longer in the world, is it wrong to laugh at jokes and be happy about certain moments? I wonder these, some people can relate whereas to some people it's a thing to let go. I like to remember these when I feel alone. It's not like I am wasting my time, I work, sometimes a lot but often I remember these moments and I stop to cherish them.
And today was one of such days, a certain memory struck in my mind which revolves around birthdays, because these few days were birthdays of lots of people that I know and mine is coming soon too, just before the day of Christmas.
Birthday used to be a huge thing for Takii, her's was on June 5th and she celebrated it with plants, well because it fell on the same day as Environment day and it was her thing to go to nursery and buy two plants every year. She used to say that the plants grew with her and as she ages the plants will age with her, I didn't understand this ideology of her at that time and I wonder if those are still alive. So, getting plants, planting them and then going on a walk: this was her idea of perfect birthday, she never cut a cake ,but she loved cakes.
My Birthdays were opposite to hers, I live in a huge family so, my family is more excited about birthdays than me. When I was young, I used to be excited too but I slowly lost interest though the celebrations; no matter how small continued because of family excitement. After meeting her, I would just get out of the house and let my family celebrate the birthday. I would meet her up and as always a long walk with a piece of cake. Yes, we loved walking, I know I mention it a lot.
Things like this can't be forgotten and not meant to let go. Yes, they might make me feel sad at times but those were one of my happiest moments because I still remember that smile of her, and even when she was stuck in her own life, she reminded herself to smile and be happy; I wasn't the happy kind of person but she accomplished to make me feel happy being myself and after she departed from the world, I kind of hated myself and I let her memories in vain. You know, letting her down, especially after she was gone was a mistake of mine and now that I realize, I finally understand the way she actually was. I cannot thank her anymore but I feel her guidance with me now, and even though late, I get what she meant.
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